Airport 1970,

Minute 098: This Woman is a Stowaway

December 14, 2016

Guest Host: Peter J. Regan

If you’ve ever stayed in a hotel with the new name of the hotel written on a bedsheet and draped over the sign with the old name of the hotel, thank Peter. He’s a long-time veteran of the hospitality resort industry, and makes sure your hotel experience is something to rave about on TripAdvisor. When he’s not complaining about the size of the bath towels, he’s expounding on what’s wrong with movies. Mark and Jim have known Peter since high school, and he’s always been like this. Except for the bath towels part. That’s new.


Vern heads back to the cockpit after talking to Gwen.

Meanwhile, Gwen is in the Tourist section. She stops at Row 23, and confronts Ada.

“Excuse me, Madam,” says Gwen. “May I see your ticket?”

Ada looks up from her knitting. “My ticket?” she asks. “Oh, that nice young man at the gate took it.”

“No, he wouldn’t do that,” says Gwen. “If it was a round-trip ticket, you’d still have the return flight coupon. And if it was a one-way, you’d still have the ticket stub and boarding folder.” Guerrero glances around, and then averts his eyes from the discussion.

Ada attempts to change the subject with a smile. “You’re English, aren’t you?” she asks. “I knew it the moment you started to talk. You make our language sound so delightful! My late husband used to say-”

“Never mind what he said, what about your ticket?” says Gwen, sternly.

“Well, I’ll certainly look, my dear,” says Ada, “but I’m sure -”

“Why don’t you stop wasting my time, Mrs. Quonsett?” says Gwen. “You are Mrs. Ada Quonsett, aren’t you?” Passengers in adjoining seats begin to look concerned. Mr. Davidson, seated in 23-C, is very uncomfortable at this turn of the conversation.

“Well, since you’re aware of who I am,” says Ada, “there’s no use denying it, is there?”

“Is there some misunderstanding?” asks Mr. Davidson. “Perhaps I can help.”

“There’s no misunderstanding,” replies Gwen, curtly. “Are you traveling with this lady?”

Davidson pauses for a moment, then quietly says, “No.”

Gwen glares at Davidson. “Then it’s none of your business, sir. This woman is a stowaway!”

Ada looks at Gwen. “Are we going to turn back?” she asks Gwen. Guerrero steals a glance at Ada, then looks at Gwen.

“You’re not that important,” says Gwen. “When we land in Rome – -”


In this minute

Jacqueline Bisset as Gwen Meighan
Dean Martin as Vernon Demerest
Whit Bissell as Mr. Davidson
Helen Hayes as Ada Quonsett
Van Heflin as D. O. Guerrero



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