Airport 1970,

Minute 073: You Want a Laugh?

November 09, 2016

Guest Host: Hal Bryan

Hal Bryan is senior editor for digital and print content and publications at the Experimental Aircraft Association, hosts of the world’s largest aviation event, in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. He’s co-author of two books, a lifelong pilot and aviation geek, and an obsessive pop culture nerd with a penchant for sci-fi, superheroes, and optimistic retro-futurism. As a pilot, he’s logged time in a wide variety of airplanes, many of them old and weird, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.


The Cleveland dispatcher is describing stowaway Ada Quonsett to the Flight Two crew over the radio.

“Wearing a brown hat with a brown pom-pom, tweed coat with black velvet collar,” says Cleveland Dispatch. “Name: Mrs. Ada Quonsett. Determine and confirm. ”

Harris responds, “Will check and advise.” Harris puts down the mic.

“I don’t believe it!” laughs Cy Jordan.

“Oh, I believe it,” says Vern. “Those penguins on the ground are idiots.”

Gwen knocks on the cockpit door. Cy opens it for her.

“Now,” says Gwen, “the guy in Twenty-One D says it’s too hot!”

“You want a laugh?” asks Vern, handing Gwen his clipboard. “Have you seen her?” Gwen reads the description.

“Well,” says Gwen, “she’s not in First. I’ve hardly checked the Tourist section yet.”

“Well,” says Vern, “go back and see if the old biddy’s there, huh?”

“If she is,” asks Gwen, “what should I do?”

“Nothing,” says Vern, “just come back and report.” Gwen leaves the cockpit.

“How about that?” asks Vern. “A little old lady just walks on, like she’s walking onto an elevator.”

Gwen walks through First Class, passing by Maria, who is dishing out appetizers from a display of cooked shrimp on a serving cart.


In this minute

Vince Williams as Cleveland Dispatcher
Dean Martin as Vernon Demerest
Barry Nelson as Anson Harris
Gary Collins as Cy Jordan
Jacqueline Bisset as Gwen Meighen
Malila Saint Duval as Maria



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