Airport 1970,

Minute 041: Hey Rube

September 26, 2016

Guest Host: Brett Stillo

Brett Stillo loves movies. He loves to watch them, discuss them, write about them, and work on them. His new short film, “Swing Shift,” was recently accepted for the 2016 H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival in Portland, Oregon.

Brett has tumbled head-first into the world of minute-movie podcasts, joining forces with Josh Horowitz of the Wing Kong to bring you “5 Minutes of Trouble,” a weekly podcast that examines John Carpenter’s cult classic five minutes at a time.


Inside the Trans Global hangar. 707 tail number N324 is being pushed out to the tarmac, tail first. Vernon Demerest is listening to Anson Harris talk about Three Two Four’s number two engine.

“I wanted to see what maintenance did about it,” says Harris.

“Well,” says Demerest, “I hope they gave us a new one.” Demerest looks at the maintenance report.

“Yeah, well they even replaced all the wiring,” says Harris. “Just to be on the safe side.”

“Well, that’s the side I like to be on,” says Demerest. He holds out his hand and stops Harris.

“What is it?” asks Harris. “What’s the matter?” Demerest examines Harris’s shirt collar.

“I was just thinking about the last time you checked me out,” says Demerest. “You marked me down for not wearing a regulation shirt. I was just hoping to get even.”

Harris shakes his head. “Not a chance,” says Harris. “Knowing how tough you can be, tonight I even polished my wings!”

The scene shifts to a highway patrol car, sirens and lights on, pulling up to the Trans Global maintenance and crew offices. Joe Patroni steps out of the back of the cruiser, slaps the roof of the car and yells, “Thanks, fellas!” to the highway patrolmen. Patroni walks over to Bakersfeld, who’s standing next to the MelMobile with an overcoat for Joe.

“I tried to get some more help for you, Joe,” says Mel, “but no luck. I’ve only got twenty men out there.”

Patroni smiles. “I knew you’d blow it,” says Patroni, “so I did a little phoning from my car. I got fifty!”

“Where did you get them from?” asks Mel.

“Braniff, Delta, Continental,” says Joe, “We’re not like those stiffs up in the front office who wear ties, and spend all their time stealing passengers from each other.  Maintenance? It’s like a circus: one of us gets in trouble, he yells, ‘Hey Rube!’ – –  they all come running.”  Joe puts on his gloves and says, “Okay, let’s get going. I’ve got a beautiful dame waiting for me at home!” Joe and Mel climb into the MelMobile.


In this minute

Barry Nelson as Anson Harris
Dean Martin as Vernon Jordan
George Kennedy as Joe Patroni
Burt Lancaster as Mel Bakersfeld



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