Airport,
15 MINS

Minute 033: Good Help These Days

September 14, 2016
MP3

Guest Host: Pete Mummert

Pete Mummert is a co-host of the Indiana Jones Minute podcast, a show that the AV Club once hailed as “not nearly as tedious as a thing like this could potentially be.” He lives with his wife and two cats in San Francisco, a town in which the term “snow desk” only rarely enters casual conversations.

Summary

Tanya is in the Customs inspection hall, talking to Trans Global passenger Mrs. Harriet DuBarry Mossman, a woman wearing a fur coat and fur hat. Her tiny white poodle sits atop a pet shipping crate, while Customs officer Harry Standish stands behind the counter.

“Would you explain to this man that we’re no longer living in the Dark Ages?” asks Mrs. Mossman, pointing at Harry. “That, nowadays, stores in this country import clothes from France?” She turns to Harry. “If you’d bothered to look, you’d see the Bergdorf-Goodman labels.”

“Oh, I did bother to look, Madam, rather closely,” says Harry. “and I find the– the sewing of the labels isn’t up to Bergdorf’s usual standard.  They’re always very professional, very neat.”

“As you can see,” says Harry, pointing at a label,  “that’s a pretty sloppy job. But, I suppose everybody’s having trouble getting good help these days.”

“Especially the Customs Service,” replies Mrs. Mossman. Harry looks back at Mrs. Mossman.

The poodle whines and scratches at his jeweled collar. Harry walks over and asks the dog what’s bothering him. Harry examines the collar more closely.

Mrs. Mossman’s attitude changes. “Officer,” says Mrs. Mossman, “About the fur and the dresses – – perhaps I did make a mistake. I did buy them there, and there are some other things that I –”

Harry removes the dog’s collar.

In This Minute

Jean Seberg as Tanya Livingston
Burt Lancaster as Mel Bakersfeld
Jessie Royce Landis as Mrs. Harriet DuBarry Mossman
Lloyd Nolan as Harry Standish
Frank Jamus as Customs Inspector Frank Barrow

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