Airport 1970,

Minute 026: Can’t Tolerate Garlic

September 05, 2016

Guest Host: Peter J. Regan

If you’ve ever stayed in a hotel with the new name of the hotel written on a bedsheet and draped over the sign with the old name of the hotel, thank Peter. He’s a long-time veteran of the hospitality resort industry, and makes sure your hotel experience is something to rave about on TripAdvisor. When he’s not complaining about the size of the bath towels, he’s expounding on what’s wrong with movies. Mark and Jim have known Peter since high school, and he’s always been like this. Except for the bath towels part. That’s new.


Tanya Livingston sits in a chair in the Trans Global Executive Lounge, while Mel sits opposite Mrs. Quonset on the sofa. Mel is trying to explain to Mrs. Ada Quonset that what she’s done is dishonest.

“You’ve broken the law,” says Mel. “You’ve defrauded Trans Global.”

Mrs. Quonset nods.

“Well, don’t you realize they can prosecute you?” asks Mel.

Mrs. Quonset shakes her head.

“But they wouldn’t, would they?” says Ada. “I don’t think it would be very good public relations for a big airline to prosecute a little old lady, just because she wanted to visit her daughter.”

Mel takes a sandwich from the tray on the coffee table.

Mrs Quonset points at the tray of sandwiches and asks, “May I have one?”

“Why, sure!” says Mel. Bakersfeld holds out the plate to Mrs. Quonset, and she takes a sandwich.

“I didn’t each much on the plane,” says Ada. “The beef was a little too well done, and the salad dressing had garlic in it.” Ada turns to Tanya. “I think you should tell them, my dear, that very often, elderly people can’t tolerate garlic. Gives them gas.” Ada bites into the sandwich.

Tanya’s mouth hangs open. She says sarcastically, “Well, I’ll certainly mention it to our chef. Thank you!”

Mrs. Quonset doesn’t pick up on the sarcasm. “Not at all,” says Ada.

Tanya leans in towards Ada Quonset. “Now look, Mrs. Quonset,” says Tanya, “since you’ve had so much free travel from Trans Global, the least you could do is tell us how you get aboard our flights.”

“Well, my dear, I use many methods,” says Mrs. Quonset, “but mostly I-”


In This Minute

Jean Seberg as Tanya Livingston
Burt Lancaster as Mel Bakersfeld
Helen Hayes as Ada Quonset



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