Airport,
18 MINS

Minute 024: Won’t You Sit Down

September 01, 2016
MP3

Guest Host: Chuck Goldstone

Chuck Goldstone is an author, humorist and is assumed to have written THIS BOOK IS NOT A TOY: FRIENDLY ADVICE ON HOW TO AVOID DEATH AND OTHER INCONVENIENCES, which the prestigious St. Martin’s Press claims sold at least a few boxes of books. As a commentator and radio pundit, he was heard nationally on Marketplace for a decade and has appeared regularly as a guest on CBS Radio Boston. His humor-stuffed websites include www.ridiculous2sublime.com and www.terribleadvice.com. In the real world, he has helped organizations from global giants to scraping startups tell their stories more persuasively. He recalls seeing Airport the first time on an airplane. But maybe it was On Golden Pond.
mail@chuckgoldstone.com


Summary

The little old lady in the tweed coat walks into the Trans Global Executive Lounge, smiling sweetly.  Tanya rubs her eyes in disbelief.

“Hello,” says the little old lady, “I’m Mrs. Ada Quonsett.” She holds out her hand and begins shaking Tanya’s hand.

“I’m Mrs. Livingston,” says Tanya, momentarily confused by the etiquette. “Pleased to — I mean won’t you.. sit down!” Tanya tries to take on a tone of authority, but Mrs. Quonsett brushes her attempt away with effusive courtesy.

“Well thank you, my dear,” says Mrs. Quonsett, as she takes a seat on the sofa. “It was a long walk from that gate.”  Peter hands Tanya a card about Mrs. Quonsett.

Tanya looks at Peter. “We’ve got a little talking to do. I think you’d better lock that door.” Peter nods, and locks the door to the Commanders’ Club. Tanya turns to Mrs. Quonsett.

“Well,” says Tanya,  “I see you’ve done this sort of thing before.”

“Oh yes, my dear,” says Mrs. Quonsett.

“But it’s against the law,” says Tanya. “Why do you do it?”

“Well,” says Mrs. Quonsett, “you see, I’m a widow, and I have a married daughter in New York.  Sometimes I get lonely for her, and for the grandchildren, so I go down to the airport in Los Angeles and I get on  a plane that’s going to New York. And then, when I’m ready to go home, it’s, well,  vice versa.”

Tanya is flabbergasted, “Just like that, without a ticket?”

“Oh, my dear” says Mrs. Quonsett, “I couldn’t possibly afford a ticket! I just have my Social Security, and this small pension my late husband left me. ”

“Have you ever been a stowaway on any other airline?” asks Tanya.

“Oh yes,” says Mrs. Quonsett, “but I like Trans Global the best.”

 

In This Minute

Jean Seberg as Tanya Livingston
Peter Findlater as Peter Coakley
Helen Hayes as Ada Quonsett

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