Airport 1970,

Minute 022: I Look for Excuses

August 30, 2016

Guest Host: Chuck Goldstone

Chuck Goldstone is an author, humorist and is assumed to have written THIS BOOK IS NOT A TOY: FRIENDLY ADVICE ON HOW TO AVOID DEATH AND OTHER INCONVENIENCES, which the prestigious St. Martin’s Press claims sold at least a few boxes of books. As a commentator and radio pundit, he was heard nationally on Marketplace for a decade and has appeared regularly as a guest on CBS Radio Boston. His humor-stuffed websites include and In the real world, he has helped organizations from global giants to scraping startups tell their stories more persuasively. He recalls seeing Airport the first time on an airplane. But maybe it was On Golden Pond.


Mel just finished his argument with his wife, Cindy. Tanya tries to cheer Mel up.

“Guess what?” says Tanya, “Miller says they just picked up a stowaway from L.A. on Flight Eighty Six. That makes four this month! BOAC had one on Monday: a sixteen-year-old who-”

Mel interrupts. “If you’re wondering if we’ve had another fight, the answer is no. It’s just a continuation of the same one. But I guess I’m just as much to blame as she is.  She’s right – – I look for excuses not to go home.”  The phone rings.

“Hello, Joe?” says Mel, answering the phone. “Oh, Harry. Yes, alright – I’ll be right there.”

The scene shifts to the stuck Trans Global 707. Mel pulls up in the MelMobile, and meets Jack Ingram under the 707’s left wing.

“If we’re going to do it this way,” says Jack, “we need a lot more men.”

“Alright,” says Mel, “I’ll try to round up some for you.”

“Maybe there’s an easier way,” replies Jack. “Captain Demerest has a good idea.”  Jack calls out to Captain Demerest, just exiting the 707. “Why don’t you tell Mister Bakersfeld?”

Captain Demerest climbs down a stepladder.

In This Minute

Burt Lancaster as Mel Bakersfeld
Jean Seberg as Tanya Livingston
William Boyett as Jack Ingram
Dean Martin as Vernon Demerest



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