Airport,
20 MINS

Minute 028: Consider Every Angle

September 07, 2016
MP3

Guest Host: Peter J. Regan

If you’ve ever stayed in a hotel with the new name of the hotel written on a bedsheet and draped over the sign with the old name of the hotel, thank Peter. He’s a long-time veteran of the hospitality resort industry, and makes sure your hotel experience is something to rave about on TripAdvisor. When he’s not complaining about the size of the bath towels, he’s expounding on what’s wrong with movies. Mark and Jim have known Peter since high school, and he’s always been like this. Except for the bath towels part. That’s new.

Summary

Tanya Livingston sits in a chair in the Trans Global Executive Lounge, while Mel sits opposite Mrs. Quonset on the sofa. Mrs Quonset continues to explain the methods she uses to stow away on planes. She says she gets past the stewardesses because “they’re always talking to the men.”

“I just show them my folder quickly, you see,” says Ada, waving a ticket folder. Tanya snatches the folder out of Mrs. Quonset’s hands. “I’ll keep that too,” says Tanya.

“But I’m sure you don’t always use a boarding pass,” says Tanya.

“No,” says Ada. “Sometimes I tell them that my son has gone aboard, but he dropped his wallet.” Ada reaches into her handbag. “I carry a man’s wallet in my — hand,” says Ada, quickly putting the wallet back in her handbag before Tanya can confiscate it. “That works best of all,” says Ada, snapping her handbag shut.

“I must say, Mrs. Quonset,” says Mel, “You’ve got everything figured out very carefully.”

Ada smiles. “My late husband taught me to be thorough,” says Tanya. “He was a teacher, of geometry. He always said, ‘You must consider every angle.’ ”

Mel smiles. Tanya says, “My late husband was a lawyer, and he always said, ‘Watch out for sweet-looking, innocent little old ladies.’  I’m beginning to understand what he meant.”

Mrs. Quonset leans forward with concern. “So, you’re a widow, too?” says Ada. “Oh, I’m sorry, my dear – – but you’re young and attractive and I’m sure –”

“Let’s confine the conversation to you, Mrs. Quonset,” says Tanya. “We’re sending you back to Los Angeles, on–”

 

In This Minute

Jean Seberg as Tanya Livingston
Burt Lancaster as Mel Bakersfeld
Helen Hayes as Ada Quonset

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